“I’ve always worked hard on my self-growth, my progress, my potential. A potential I can feel, but somehow can’t fully release. It always feels as if I take five steps forward, six steps back. A couple of months ago, a relationship I had let back into my life, ended. I had held onto our relationship so tight. I gave excuses for his behavior; I opened up my mind to malice, infidelity, parts of this world I don’t live in. I wanted to understand his world; his actions. I honestly thought we would be together forever. I have stripped myself of everything I knew since that thought, this attachment, this everything. It has taken a lot of courage, but that’s where I’m at right now, this bare-bones state of being.
“You’ll never leave me.”
One of the last things he said to me. He was right. I couldn’t leave him; I needed to surpass him. Needed to break this cycle of myself. I am so tired of being this version of me. I know what it feels like when there’s no light. I see the glimmer, and I know the light becomes stronger with each step. Letting go of this idea, releasing myself of a version of someone I have created, has become the beginning to a journey of discovering what I’m made of. My way of taking five steps forward, and only one step back; my way to finally release what I know to be my full potential.”
Shared by: Ana Martinez
Transcribed by: Julia Michael